essay

Marriage when defined by Webster’s is classified as “the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments.” But that is just all that it defines it as, the definition ends there. It never once mentions love or any feelings. It simply puts it as a “decision to live” with each other; it never once says that it is an act of love and loyalty. When in fact the reason to wed a person is being of the said feelings of love it not just an impulse act that you wake up on morning and do. In John Donne’s poem “A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning” and Judith Minty’s poem “Conjoined” the differing views of marriage and what it entails is illustrated through the use of similes, metaphors, and diction to created two completely contrasting perspectives.
The use of similes was very profound in the depicting the meaning of the poem. For example, beginning in the seventh stanza of Donne’s poem, he compares the love between the two in his poem to be “as stiff twin compasses”. The twin compasses are described as two, but only in the sense that there are two legs joined permanently at the top. Donne uses the "twin compasses" as a metaphor, stating that the souls of the couple are joined as one and will navigate through their life together in one direction. However, if and when they do part, they will become two souls, but the arms of their compasses will forever point toward each other, and the path they lead will never be strayed from. This symbolizes spiritual love, and recognizes that true love never dies. One leg of the compass, which is often referred to as the “fixed foot”, is “in the center sit”. Meaning that it remains planted firmly in the center. The other leg of the compass travels in a perfect circle, returning to its exact point of origin. This is all along depicting that although the poem is about parting lovers, it is showing how even in mathematics things return, without harm; as they do in love. Thus the speaker explains that the person who remains in the center makes positive that the absent lover returns back to form a complete circle because of its firmness. It is not square or a heart because there are sharp edges that can be broken, but a circle is continuous and fluid and everlasting, like a marriage and like the love that bonds the marriage and forever keeps it vibrant and refreshed. Donne’s take on love is that it can forever endure and remain compassionate. In Minty’s poem she explains to the reader that love is like "an accident, like the two-headed calf rooted in one body, fighting to suck at its mothers teats; or like those other freaks, Chang and Eng." Minty believes that marriage should not be seen as an accident; instead it should be something that is meticulously planned out and held off for the right moment. For after all a two-headed calf did not choose to live its life the way it is; her path was chosen for her and now she must live with her decision. Alike to marriage, it is seen as a decision one must live with. Struggling for a bare essential of survival explains a couple's conciliation over concerns. One person may want something different from the other, but because they have been bonded together, the compromise must take place whether or not if it results in happiness. Take the Siamese twins Chang and Eng. They are two separate individuals who both have different wants, needs and desires from life and their surroundings, but under their medical conditions and according to Minty are forced to remain together and make decisions and sacrifices based on the others needs, wants and desires.
Diction was a major contrasting element between the two poems that really set them apart from each other and utilized the correct mood and tone that was attempted to be revealed by each author. The titles of each poem clearly mark themselves certain to be interpreted between a positive and a negative connotation. Minty used degrading and demeaning words such as "deformed, accident, doomed, freaks, and cannot escape" while Donne shows his side through a much different choice of words, such as "joys, love, innocent, refined, soul, and grows". Each explains the mood of the poem and reveals what the author was thinking during his or her composition. The words create contrasting reflections of one another and once again show a lack of comparison between the two poems.
Marriage is indefinite; meaning that it is not something that every person can agree on the meaning of. Donne sees marriage as a bond of love and happiness. On the other hand, Minty sees marriage as a restriction, which is often lonely and trapped. Although it is portrayed in very different ways the actual bond that it entails never diverges. Marriage follows the lines of, “what you put into it, it what you get out.” You make it into what it is and to you that is all you need. There is no definition of marriage but the authors Minty and Donne tried to decode the meaning of marriage through similes, metaphors, and diction.